anicejester

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Another dream, not of Ichade

Another dream, not of Ichade

It was time to say good-bye, for how long I did not know, I only knew that I really didn’t want to leave. Our time together had been too short, minutes actually, compared to the years that had passed since birth. Time is relative and it was against us this time.

She came into my arms hugging me firmly in a grip that expressed deeper meaning that I would have thought before my arrival. The hug lasted a long time, no words spoken, and none needed to be said. I did not want to go; she it appeared didn’t want me to leave.

The hug turned less fierce more into two entities that wanted to be held without judgment. My mind raced on how good it felt…it surprised me…I had not expected it though I must say in reflection how could it be otherwise.

Our torsos left each other then with our arms still hugging each others waist. Bending backwards without letting go just so we could look at each other face to face...like we both were waiting for something. We were both smiling; I could see the light of understanding dancing in her blue eyes. That’s when my mind wondered through a scenario of a “what if” that encompassed hours in that flash of a second.


I reached up to the back of her head running my left hand under her shoulder length hair gripping a handful in such a way that I was pulling her head back and to the side. Her mouth opened in surprise and just a brief flash of pleasure-pain of silent protest before I pressed my mouth against hers. Kissing her hard savoring the sweet nectar taste of her mouth.

I felt the briefest attempt of withdraw from her, but my hand full of hair kept her in place until the desire overcame her as well as she fell into me. The kiss lingered like the hug that still continued. Raw passion flowed like a rain swollen river in a much too narrow gorge. My right hand moved to her left hip pulling her against me so that she could feel what she was doing to me.

I broke the kiss off then pulling her head back to look into her eyes so the truth could be seen by both of us. I gave her a quick peck barely brushing her lips with mine, then a slow lick with the point of my tongue starting at the base of her lower lip and stopping on the upper never taking my eyes out contact with hers. I moved my left hand so that I was cupping the right side of her neck and jaw tenderly.

Her arms under mine bent at a ninety degree angle with her hands on my shoulder blades pulled me into another kiss, long and lingering educating me to her delicate side. It’s the part of a woman that she keeps hidden to most and was sharing it with me; I felt honored.

I did not want to leave but this was a good-bye and I didn’t have a choice. We ebbed back then, I could feel my legs shaking slightly, knees ready to give way, but I held fast and finished our farewell in a friendship hug. Hurry back she whispered softly into my soul. I turned a left without another look back.


As we looked at each other in that flash of a second I kept my arms where they were and leaned in kissing her on the cheek as she did the same. I breathed in the essence of her in that tender moment of our last hug for awhile. I turned then and left her, waving fare-thee-well as I left.

As I drove away in the dark I felt something different within me. My younger me would have taken the chance, would have stepped to the edge; but the more mature me, the one who is charge now did the right thing. The young me will probably blindside the mature me the next time just to get his way….

Or the alarm clock will save the day again…to keep me straight.

Peace

The Meal will have to do...

The Meal will have to do


My mind is currently elsewhere, thoughts are fixed on memories of my cousin and his passing. Of what that means to Heaven, Humanity, and Family. This is not the time for me to write a story of him, emotion is to raw right now. But rest assured it’s forming ever so slowly and making me smile as it comes instead of the moisture that now leaks from my eyes.

So tonight I created a meal in his honor and served it on a table set the way he would have done it. Nice linen, silverware, water goblets, wine glasses, two scented candles in the middle of the table casting a warm glow around the dinning room.

I dressed for the occasion, tan pants with matching socks, dark brown Hawaiian patterned shirt, and slippers. I was comfortable and looked nice. I put on my apron and started creating.

The appetizer consisted of oven warmed crusted bread with slits diagonally across the top to let the herbed butter have access. Lobster Bisque not from a can or pre-made for convenience. Fresh ingredients put together by hand brought together in a boil then covered to thicken.

Main entrée Sea Scallops lightly dusted with ground spices seared in a cast iron skillet with a breath of olive oil so the outside was crusted and the inside warm and moist.

The Sea Scallops were kept company by a whipped Sweet Potato topped with a mixture of butter, Ohio honey, and ground cinnamon along with steamed Brussel Sprouts tossed with herbed butter presented in a separate dish to avoid trapped moisture butter combination spreading across the plate.

I set the table for one, poured myself a glass of German Ice Wine, the water was already poured. I had four other chairs around the table, one for each of the male Hunkers that were alive when I was born, Jim, John, Don (Dad), and finally Bob. I am the last.

I made a short prayer to God for all the wonders I have witnessed and the joys I have felt. I raised my wine glass to the missing thanking them for staying with me in the past and paving the way to my future.

It was a fine evening meal and for right now it was the least I could do.

God Bless you all


Peace

Saturday, May 02, 2009

A Smiling Nod

I was asked to write something about my cousin Bob who recently made the trip to heaven. “I don’t want something sad… you know make it funny(ish)…you are a better writer than me…than any of us really” my cousin Doris (Bob’s sister) said to me. “Ok, I can do that.” What is written below is what was be passed out to those who attend the “Celebration of Life” gathering for Bob Hunker.


Memories are the images and imprints of past happenings. When we are living the future memory, the event helps mold us into what we are the next day. Slowly over years we become who we are and what we believe. Bob has aided all of us in our quest for our true selves.

I remember lavish Christmas dinners at Bob’s house and his laughter coming from the head of the table.

I remember Bob walking into a room or a house taking it upon himself to “modify” the feel of the area to his standards. Not one of us was ever correct.

I remember Bob inviting as many people to a fresh fish fry lunch that he wanted no matter who was doing the actual fishing or cleaning of the fish.

I remember Bob serving cold soup at one of this many gatherings and the astonished me telling my father that “My soup is cold.”

I remember having cocktails on the porch at the farm with Bob and some of my friends discussing current world events only to look up at a perfect rear view of Bob’s tighty whiteys as he peed into the bushes.

I remember seeing Bob in his study sitting on a hard un-cushioned straight back wooden chair in front of a tiny antique desk with piles of near avalanche looking papers and thinking where is Norman Rockwell when you need him.

I remember the joy on Bob’s face as he told me that he had purchased the place cards for ten cents each at the dollar store while sipping spirits that cost fifty dollars a bottle.

I remember the adult face that mirrored the little girls’ mortified face of horror, when my sister found out that those were Frog Legs on her plate at one of Bob’s dinners.

I remember the majestic way Bob sat on his steed leading the way on the hunt, the happiness on his face with the thrill of it, and the willingness of all those who followed him.

We will always remember Bob with a smiling nod of one who liked to pave his own trail…and we can all learn from his example of how to live life!

Friday, October 10, 2008

In Memory

In Memory

It was just about now, 1030 am on October 10, 1994 when my Brother in Law, Gib, called me; I was stationed at Ft. Rucker Alabama. I thought it was to tell me of my parents 40th wedding anniversary plans and how I could help out with any surprises. Instead I was informed that the Emergency Crew had just taken my Dad to the hospital and that Gib had been performing CPR for the last 10 to 15 minutes...

Mom wasn't feeling that well in the morning so Dad had went on to church without her. He was a Deacon and some maintenance needed to be preformed at the church. He worked there fixing things in his usual ways with plenty of logic and duct tape. He change out some ceiling burnt out light bulbs in the sanctuary with his rickety 40 foot ladder that no one else in the church trusted let alone would perch themselves that high off the ground without a net. He swept the front walk, trimmed bushes, washed windows and did what ever else needed to be done; smiling all the while working for the church and the members of the congregation was one of his biggest joys.

He returned home; Mom was still lying down so he started in on the housework getting it ready for the family and friends that would be dropping by throughout the day congratulating them on 40 years of love. He was vacuuming the living room floor as my Mom walked out to meet Gib (we always meet our guests as they arrive with warm loving hugs) as he pulled into the driveway with the extra folding chairs for the gathering later in the evening. My Mom and Gib found him lying on the living room floor, unresponsive, he was already talking to God.

The hospital did there best to bring him back to us, but the trail was cold and heaven needed him more than us, though it still doesn't sit well with me or any of my family. He was (and is) the one I confided in the most. We were the best of friends and I valued his counsel above all others. The cut across my heart bleeds daily with the missing of him in my physical life. I still talk to him everyday and at times I can almost hear an answer inside my head if not my heart. It's been 14 years almost to the minute since I found out he was gone. My life changed on that day more than any other time so far. It feels like yesterday and it still hurts.

Peace be with you Dad, you are still loved and always will be...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I dreamt of her again last night...

I dreamt of her again last night...

The mystery woman of my dreams I shall name Ichade after a woman in a series I read, because she too steals souls and captures hearts with a look.

Have you ever dreamt you were dreaming in a dream? It's a very strange occurrence and thought provoking in its meaning. I had one of these the other night. It was a dream that I was destined to have coming out of the dreaming state during particularly bad sequences. Only to pick up where I left off as I shut my eyes again, it was a fitful night to be sure. This is the dream:

I was dreaming of her again, I can see her face which changes slightly throughout the years of chase. Her hair changes colors with the mood or season, light blonde, streaked, auburn, dark brown, and blackish with red. Though her face changes shape from round to narrow and back again, her eyes remain the same. Those eyes full of love and wit; those eyes filled with all the wonders and secrets to be found within; those eyes I stare at and never get enough of…those eyes stay the same.

I dream of Ichade in a moderately length blue denim skirt that hugs her backside in all the right ways, white blouse worn tantalizingly off the shoulder, a black belt accentuates her waist. She has a blue bandana type of choker with pink accents around her neck and a pink cowgirl hat on. Her hair was blonde with streaks of light colors throughout. She was looking at me lying in bed laughing wickedly.
"I like your hat" a say to her laughter.

That's when I get hit with the thrown hair brush on my shoulder and wake up from my dreaming state while still dreaming. Ichade is looking at me lying in bed; she is standing up near an opened closet door which is darker inside than normal. Her hair is slightly darker, one side is brushed the other wild; she is wearing one of my old t-shirts that hangs to mid-thigh on her; her feet are bare.

"Who has a nice hat?" she says to me seeing my eyes open in panic, "Who were you dreaming of?" she asks me. "You Ichade, I was dreaming of you!" I reply rubbing the shoulder that took the hit. "Uh-huh" she replies smiling now moving like a lynx across the bed to retrieve her brush. Her eyes are close now, they fill my vision. She kisses me lightly without letting me return it. "Are you ready for your journey" she asks me in thought and I understand. "What journey" I say out loud just realizing that she hadn't spoken.

"The journey for the prize" she thinks to me again. "Can't I stay here with you?" I reply. "No, we are not meant to be this way. We are the best at being friends, sometimes close friends" she steals another light kiss her teeth flash a smile afterwards. Only the thoughts she wants me to hear are coming through and I realize it's her eyes that are telling me. I reach up to grip the wild side of her hair…

I am in a room with close friends each making something for me to eat, drink, or carry. Joe comes over telling me to drink a glass full of brownish slush, "It will give you strength when you need it most" he says to me. It tastes vile, like a pro basketball players sneaker soaked in fuel oil. I choke it down. Kevin gives me a button to push when I need air. Scott gives me a sharp knife to strike enemies down. On and on it goes, the last person I see is my father who puts his forehead to mine bestowing logic and wisdom, he fades from the room before I leave it…

I find myself on a narrow path that is surrounded by things that make me fear for my life. Buildings of odd shapes, windows hanging without structures in a continuous wave of shadow, small icons littler the grass, and the very path I stand on changes the longer I stare at it. I look back and the path is disappearing and death awaits those who do not move.

So I take a step and a new path emerges toward a house that looks warm and inviting. I have to make a choice; I decide to stay on the path that I am on and with my next step the warm house looks askew with skeletons' walking on the porch and others looking out the window. I know in my heart that I made the right decision…staying on the path. Death missed again…

I notice the icons are faces of women, from time to time I pick some up they stay with me for a while then fall out of a satchel that I am carrying. I look to the right and the US Flag is waving to me to come over, I take that path without hesitation. As I step into the structure I can see the multiple hallways receding from the door. I take the first one and learn the art of war…

I make it back to the front door later in life; my body is no longer lean there have been damages to it and my mind inside. Good things too I can feel but I am being forced out of the structure back to the path, wider now, but just as scary. There is only one icon in my bag; Ichade's eyes look back up at me from the satchel.

There are fewer icons on the ground but I feel that I have had more than I should have up to this point. I ignore them I feel I have the only one I need. I take two steps on the path, Ichade's icon falls out and I can't reach it to pick it up again. It saddens me; my heart aches; the rear of the path catches up to me and I must walk leaving those eyes behind.

I make choices, stepping into wall less windows and learn; I return to the path, some of the icons have become full size. The women offer me things; I accept some and reject others. I always age; I am a mature man now but still alone.

I find an icon that stays with me for awhile. When it slips away it hurts almost as much as when Ichade's did. There is no sign of Ichade anywhere I feel she is back in my friends' room watching me, but I am not sure.

I have conquered death numerous times, beaten him at his own game though sometimes it was close. Close enough to taste heaven; I am no longer afraid of dying.

I can see the end of the path and I open what appears to be the last door into a library with books filling the room from floor to ceiling. I see my name on a few of the bindings and it makes me smile. Successful and satisfied, but alone and now lonely.

There is one last door at the far wall hidden from view until now, I wonder about it? I had thought the room of books was my journeys end but maybe not. No longer fearing death I slowly open it. It's like a door that connects two hotel rooms with a small air filled space in between, the twin half door on the other side is opening too. The timing is perfect, I see her at the same time she sees me. Ichade is standing there smiling, she has been on her own journey and our prize is each other.

We are both older, time has left its mark but her eyes are the same. I smile and say what all men love to say to their women since we are so rarely correct. "I told you so" I whisper smiling. She let's me kiss her back this time…


The alarm clock goes off; it's 0630 hours and time to go fishing. I wrote notes about my dream…sometimes it's where good books come from…

I revisited the dream last night, but I did not have the fear like the first time.

Ichade is still there…


Peace be with you all

Jon

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Crazy Talk!

Crazy talk!

Last night was interesting in my house. There were three sets of brothers and sisters spanning three generations hanging out together. There was one Grandmother, two Mothers, one Great Uncle, two uncles, two nieces, one Grandniece, two nephews, one Grandnephew, two daughters, two sons, one Granddaughter, one Grandson, three brothers, and three sisters. Both Uncles had a niece and nephew, both Mothers had a son and daughter, twice two of us had the same Mom. Twice two of us had the same Uncle. Twice two of us had the same Grandmother. Twice two of us had the same Great Uncle. One set of siblings were 2 years apart. Two sets of siblings were 4 years apart. Two sets of siblings it was an older brother. One set an older sister. One person was in their 80’s, one 70’s, one 50’s, one 40’s, two in their teens. All the sets bickered in the same fashion one second and stood up for each other the next.

Next month there is a family reunion, at last count there were over 60 of us, wouldn't it be cool if I could figure out all of those combinations…I might have it done for the following reunion in 2010…LOL

It was a great night!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Men - Remember the Iceberg

OK, I have been asked, even pleaded with (by women) to write a book about how to romance women and more importantly keep the romance alive. There is one statement that keeps everything in perspective for us men; "Women want us to think about them all the time". That's it guys the big secret...now achieving and maintaining this goal is the undertaking of a life time. You are never too old or too young to learn how to do this and you must never ever think inside the box.

So as to not give away any future writings, here is a list of things you can do that will always produce a sweet smile from your lady or from a woman you want to apply for the title. Also if the women in your lives know that you have read this they will not mind that anything that is listed is not your idea because you will have to take the time in doing the action AND you will be thinking of them as you complete the task. You can also do anyone task multiple times...

Flowers - it doesn't matter if it is one, a small bunch, and huge bouquet, home grown, picked flowering weeds, cut flowers or those in a pot. They will know that whatever you are doing to get the flowers you are thinking of them. The are also bragging rights to the ladies friends and family and score major points in all areas.

Compliments - you need to notice their hair, make-up, clothes, SHOES (most women spend a great deal of time and money on them), perfume, eyes, their smile, the way they walk (nice butt does not cut it). You need to say something nice about them everyday you see them. EVERY TIME

Gifts - now I know what you're thinking that you can't afford much. That's the beauty of it, gifts do not have to cost much or anything at all. Remember it's not the gift but that you are thinking of them that wins them over. You can wrap up her favorite chocolate bar (if you don't know it ask her) in a sheet of her favorite Sunday comics. You can use crayons or colored markers and create a "card" for her just saying anything i.e. "I miss you", "You make my day", "Let's go for a walk", use the "L" word if applicable. You can give her written IOU's for just about anything. People in general love gifts and women love the unexpected gift. When you have money go to odd lots and stock up on "cute" dollar items;give her a box of items wrapped with either a date or day on them so she can open one each day (this is great for business trips when you are away). DO NOT buy stuff for her to wear for you. Save those buying trips for when you are shopping together. Again all of this let's her know that you are thinking of her whether or not she is with you at the moment.

Cards - send her a "Hallmark" type of card at least once a month; yes even if you are married or living together. Most of the guys I know let the women get the mail, so this is a perfect time to let them know you have been thinking about them away from home. The card does the hard part for most of us it does the writing, all we have to do is sign it. It's also a great way to give her gift cards or a movie/show ticket; or ask her out on a date.

ALWAYS OPEN DOORS FOR HER. ALL THE DOORS i.e. the car door both when she is getting in the car AND when she is getting out of the car. Have her wait for you to open the door. Always open the door to an establishment for her. ALWAYS OFFER TO CARRY HER BAGS when shopping. ALWAYS drop her off at the front of the store when it's raining or cold (this is when you can forgo opening the door) and then go get the car when you are leaving the building.

Read the BLOG entries "You are" and say similar things to her...if you don't mean what you are saying then don't say it. Say something that you feel so she can see it on your face.

Why did I title this "Remember the Iceberg"? It has nothing to do with temperature. It is because what ever amount that they (women) allow us to view, over 90% of what they are is hidden beneath the surface. Just like icebergs. It's the hidden part that gets you into trouble, it's the hidden part that requires the most thought, it's the hidden part that we want to experience, it's the hidden part that can destroy the bond, the hidden part is the gift that they give the one they love.

Remember the Iceberg!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I miss him

Today is the anniversary of my fathers passing (October 10, 1994). I still think of him daily and talk about him all the time. I have tons of stories to share, but I still can't bring myself to write them out. He was a wonderful human being and is an excellent spirit that makes his presence known whenever he can. Life is not as much fun, but he has led the way yet again toward a better understanding of all questions. My mother always says that the first thing she is going to do when she sees him in heaven is to "Punch that man right in the nose" mostly for leaving her down here to cope without him and because he did not have permission to depart. For those of you who knew him I doubt that Mom will miss when she throws that punch. It was just like him to leave on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary and it just gives my Mom another reason to chew him out after the impact of her fist. After that I'm sure that they will do some traveling together; he will, after all these years have all the best places already scoped out.

I miss him.